My Feelings About Bob

Bob’s last mass (21 June 2009) was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. And I have to say that speaking entirely selfishly, I miss Providence just that much less now that Bob is not there. On that last Sunday, he gathered the youth together and had them sitting on the steps of the altar as he did on many Sundays. The tableau of Bob standing in front of them with the rest of the congregation behind: it was just the perfect tribute to Bob’s ministry. Bob was standing amidst a sea of people and an ocean of spirit. And when he talked about how the youth and the vestry (and countless others) had in fact lead Grace Church during the last decade or so, this was no act of humility; this was fact, because that was Bob’s leadership style.

There were so many striking things that were flooding my senses at that moment. When Bob arrived at Grace, there was no sea of youth, no ocean of congregation. It was a puddle. Seeing Bob walking in the midst of the flood of spirit on that day was the perfect tribute to a great man. The Flood of Spirit is that force that greets you anytime you see two or more members of Grace church together. It’s in the choir, the Sunday school, the youth group… in every single ministry. Every single one is just gushing with Spirit. I live in London and I have the opportunity to attend Westminster or St Pauls whenever I want. Now I know nothing about choirs. I have never sung in one and before Grace Church, I never had regular access to one. No one can deny the beauty of the choirs at Westminster and St Pauls. But I personally prefer the Grace Church choir to those. Like all of the ministries at Grace, the choir is a group of people but the individual personality of the members shines through in the group. It is that personal aspect that speaks to me in a way that no other choir has. And as I said before, I know nothing about choirs so I cannot speak intelligently about the musical aspect of it. But I do have ears: To my ears, the sound of the Grace Church Choir is to my mouth: the richness of my grandmother’s cooking on Christmas day, or the creamy comfort of an ice cream in August, or the magical mix of flavour that can only come from a gourmet chef… depending on the song. I do not have the endurance to go on about every ministry at Grace Church with this level of scrutiny, but if you are a member, I am sure you feel similarly about every ministry you have ever witnessed at Grace. I know I do.

I believe that the reason the Grace Church ministries are what they are because Bob created a space for them to occupy. Bob has a manner which is very personal. He brings his very real person to church. Before I knew it, I too was bringing my person, my very real imperfect self to church with me. And Bob fostered that and nurtured it. And I know he does it with you all too because I can see it. That is how we end up with a choir like that. Each individual has a voice, it is not so much about conformity as it is about inclusion. The whole church is like that, every single ministry. Each one sings of the individual voices of the participants. And it comes together to make a beautiful sound unto the Lord. I don’t know how he does it exactly but I know it is a combination of encouragement, nurturing, and then stepping out of the way. The stepping out of the way is key. Where Bob has stepped out of the way is the space where we as individuals occupy at Grace church, each and every one of us. It is that space where the divine spark that is within each one of us comes out joins the others and makes that flood of spirit that is Grace Church.

My encounter with Bob and Grace Church is just one of many blessings in my life. I met Bob seemingly by chance, but I know better. My future wife and I were discussing our future marriage. I was from the Roman Catholic tradition and she was from the Episcopal tradition. I had never heard of it and had no experience or even opinion about the Episcopal Church. So one afternoon, I was at a work meeting in downtown Providence that ended early. I took advantage of the time and wandered. I was not thinking at all about our discussions, but there stood the majestic architecture of the building on the corner of Matheson and Westminster and I noticed that it was an Episcopal Church. I thought that I should talk to someone and find out what this Episcopal Church was all about. So I rang the bell, and at the other end was Bob. I don’t remember the specifics of our words, but no one can forget the warmth and integrity that Bob carries around with him. And it was clear to me after that 15-minute meeting that I wanted my marriage to begin at Grace even though all I had seen of Grace was Bob himself. I can tell you that having Bob preside over my wedding is a great source of comfort for me especially now that he is retired because as long as my wife and I have each other, we have Bob, since he was the vessel through which our marriage in God was sanctioned.

Another favourite memory of Bob is from another ordinary encounter in his daily ministry. I used to work in Providence and if the opportunity arose I would go the Wednesday Eucharist at noon. There was about a dozen regulars, and typically there would be about three to seven of us there on a particular Wednesday. Because I was going there from work, sometimes I was a bit late, and the service would be already started when I arrived. This was during the time that Father Christopher was around and he and Bob would often do the Wednesday service together. Well this one time I walked in a few minutes late and there were Father Christopher and Bob doing mass. There was no one else there. Just Bob and Father Christopher. I found that to be so comforting to know that the mass was happening even when no one was there. How can you come upon this beautiful moment and not think of Matthew 18:20. But for me this encounter with Bob was emblematic of his integrity. I knew that Bob was Bob, no matter who was there, and even when no one was watching.

I am sure we all have our favourite memories of Bob. And when you put them all together, you end up with the flood of spirit that is Grace Church today. Bob is right to remind us that God is bigger than any one man. But Bob is the man that lead us to gather in that place at that time. There are many great reasons to worship in the company of those that gather regularly at the corner of Mathewson and Westminster. Mine was Bob Brooks.